Successful Studying
February 19, 2015
Leadership Fundamentals
October 6, 2016

Resolve Internal Conflict

resolve internal conflictWhen we as people have two or more conflicting internal representations of something, these different representations may create different belief systems which could then create different types of perceptions, emotions and behaviour.  They may also run conflicting neurological patterns which cause us to try to use two different conflicting responses simultaneously to resolve the same stimulus.

Because of this, the following pattern / technique can be used to resolve the conflict between the different internal parts – Merging these parts from a position of separation into one of unity and increased, integrated power.

Get into a space of comfortable relaxation where you will not be disturbed for at least 20 – 30 minutes. Quiet your mind by imagining a clear black board inside your mind and focussing on this black board. Then begin the steps as follows by asking the relative questions:

 

Step 1 – Identify The Inner Conflict

  • What parts or facets of yourself seem to be in conflict?
  • Give each one of these parts a name or label.
  • Notice how you have internally represented each part.
  • How specifically do you know that they conflict?
  • What exactly are they in conflict about?

 

Step 2 – Allow Visual Images To Arise

  • Get a visual image of the separate parts by asking: “If this part were a picture, what would it look like?” Do this for both parts in question.
  • Now separate each part. Imagine the image of the one part in your left hand and the image of the other in your right hand.
  • Ask yourself: “If this part were to come out on one of my hands, which hand would it choose, the right or the left?”
  • Now imagine the other part in the other hand. For example: your playful, fun part in your right hand and your serious, work part in your left hand.

 

Step 3 – Separate Intention From Behaviour

Ask the follow questions for each part separately. Finish off with the part on the left and then repeat the questions for the part on the right, or vice versa.

  • What does this part want?
  • What are its positive intentions for me?
  • What is its purpose?
  • What does it value and care about?
  • What is important about that value/s?
  • What can I appreciate about this part?

(You will begin to notice that as you ask these questions for each part individually, the answers will begin to be similar.)

 

Step 4 – Establish Communication And Transfer Resources

Ask each part separately the following:

  • What resource/s does this part need that the other part has that will help it to be even more effective?
  • Transfer these resources from the one part to the other.

Example: “What resources can this playful part have that can help the work part?”
“What resources can the work part give to the playful part to help it?”

Visually imagine the resources being transferred from one hand to the other, from one part to the other for both parts.

Begin to imagine and notice how these parts are looking very similar or even more identical as the resources between them are shared.

 

Step 5 – Allow A New Image To Emerge

Allow a third image to form, somewhere in between your hands, and allow this new image to take on the valuable qualities of both the old parts.

Let this new image begin to form out of the two images, right in the middle between both your hands, which combine the best of both images and as you do that imagine a series of visual images that represent the transition from each part into the new image in the middle. Continue to do this until you have a representation in the centre that combines both, fully.

Now look at this new part and see what it looks like, hear what it sounds like, feel what it feels like now that it has the combined resources of both the old parts.

 

Step 6 – Merge / Collapse The Images

Now bring your hands slowly together, each hand containing the individual images of the two old parts, and bring them together on as fast as they are integrated one into the other in the center where the new, stronger image is.

Allow them to simultaneously merge / collapse so that only the third image remains.

 

Step 7 – Tell A Story From The New, Integrated Image

Start your story with “Once upon a time…” and tell a short story involving this new, powerful image.

 

Step 8 – Take The Integrated Image Inside

Now reach out in front of you with both hands and take this new, powerful, integrated image and bring it inside yourself.

Notice as you bring it inside where you store it and allow it to permeate your understandings and how it transforms your ways of thinking.

 

Step 9 – Test

OK… Now think of what you had for breakfast last week Monday and if you enjoyed it or not.
This is called “breaking state”. It allows you get out of the mind-set you were just in while doing the exercise so that you can test the results.

Now think about the conflict situation that you had before you began the exercise.

  • What happens?
  • How do you feel differently about it now?
  • What specifically is different?
  • What has shifted inside of you?

 

Enjoy the new thinking patterns that this new, integrated part of you offers.

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